please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
This gyro tastes like lonliness
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
