If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
