The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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