Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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