I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
