BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
