You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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