a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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