pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
my liver is dry heaving
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
