she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Is Oprah even human
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
