and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
