Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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