Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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