Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
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