Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
