I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
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