If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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