I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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