I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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