But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
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The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
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We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
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