so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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