I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to put some appletini on your dick
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize