I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
