I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
