We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
