Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I enjoy the company of your penis
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
