DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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