OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
There's even glitter on my cock...
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