That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
