He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
