call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize