bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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