I wish I only lived at night.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I love you.
Bad choice
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
