Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
well you can't waste a boner
Barsexuality is the new black.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
