8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
