Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
