it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
