There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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