dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
