he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
My life is pants optional.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
