So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
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His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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