i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
