You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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