if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize