Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
