if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
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He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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