the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize