like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
