Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
