lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
