READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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