Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
