Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
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