I wish life had little blips of pornography
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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