you're like a bully in the Christmas story
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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