it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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