I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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