It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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