i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
