i think i have two assholes
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
