is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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