yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
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