Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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